


I'm right here

by Ancalima



Series: Safe here [37]
Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Angst, Comfort, Gen, Space dad and space son
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-19
Updated: 2016-09-19
Packaged: 2018-08-16 01:42:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8081737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ancalima/pseuds/Ancalima
Summary: The aftermath of Maul and the Sith temple leaves more scars then Ezra knows how to handle. Luckily for him, Kanan's not going to give up.





	

**Author's Note:**

> And I think...with this one...Safe Here ends as I never intended to write for season 3. I think. As far as I know I wont be writing more though I might add one or two side chapters somewhere along. And for this long journey you've all taken with me, I think you all for having the paitence to read through so much and follow it. Happy Rebel season people!

He shouldn't have, but he ran of the moment Kanan was safely escorted by Hera and Zeb to the medbay of their base. He lost Sabine and Rex halfway through the base and then he'd found a vent he could easily slip into, crawling faster then he could ever remember as he found a space JUST for himself, his whole body trembling.

'She's dead...she's dead and Kanan...oh First light Kanan...' Ezra gave a shaky breath, finally finding a bigger space that he curled up in, dragging his knees firmly to his chest and burying his face in them.

“Oh karabast, Oh Force...breath...breath Ezra...” He couldn't stop shaking, his breath coming in short bursts, his lungs constricting inside him. “Oh please just breath.” He dug his nails into his knees, hiccuping harshly as everything came crashing down on him.

He'd been so angry. He didn't even know why. Maul...

The name left a bitter taste in his mouth.

'He sees what I could be.' He flinched at the words he himself had said to Kanan and gave a cry, covering his mouth as more and more tears trailed down his face, crossing over his hands, soaking into his gloves.

'See...Kanan will never see again...' The sob tore from his throat so painfully it could have been a physical wound. 'Its all my fault!' 

Was this how a mind broke? 

Was this how a soul shattered?

He knew how a body was destroyed. But he didn't know about the others.

Ezra had been so strong for so long. He had survived the loss of his parents, he had survived the streets and the Empire for so long despite everything that had tallied against him. He had grown and gotten friends, a new family, he had become even stronger thanks to Kanan and now...

“What have I done...?” He whimpered out through his hands.

And through his despair, the sith holocron called out for him.

()()()()()()

“No ones been able to find him. He lost both Miss Wren and Captain Rex somewhere in the complex and then as good as disappeared. That was eight hours ago.” Sato confessed to them, standing with his arms behind his back as the Jedi sat on the medical bed, his eyes wrapped up in gauze.

“I'm sorry, if I knew how to find him...” Sato shrugged then winced a bit as Kanan would not be able to see his action. Hera frowned beside Kanan before jerking a bit as the Jedi stood. “Kanan...”

“Its alright. I can find him.” He murmured. “I'll need someone with eyes though to help me.” He held out his hand towards Hera. “Not to walk, just to tell me where I am and what's around.” He assured her, relying on the Force to help him.

He wouldn't say this was easy, being unable to see but...Ezra was somewhere in the base, hiding, lost and alone. He'd shut down the connection between the two, shielding himself and Kanan wasn't having any of it.

He started walking, letting the Force guide him, letting Hera carefully guide him out of the way of any inanimate objects or droids in the way. Sinking himself into the guidance he stopped thinking about anything but Ezra, about finding him and making sure he was safe and secure.

He drew on training long thought forgotten, his Initiate days where he was blind to anything but the Force and told to defend himself. It was a bit different this time but no less acting, trust in the Force.

He came to stop in a hallway, tilting his head to listen before turning to Hera. “Vents?” He asked quietly, hearing her shift to look around, the sounds of people talking further down the hall, the smell of the planet...

“There's two here, one on the left and one on the righ-oh, this one came of...you think he went into the vents?”

“That's Ezra. He likes the vents and its the only place he knows he can be alone. How big are they? Could I fit through?” Kanan moved to her side and used the wall to guide him down into a kneel, reaching out to touch the vent, sizing it up with his hand.

He let the Force trail a bit in, he should fit. 

“I don't know Kanan. You might get stuck and I'm not quite sure about getting you out if you do.” Hera hesitated, her hand hovering over Kanan's shoulder.

“It would be for Ezra. He's in there. I know he is...and I know he's hurting.” Kanan didn't need the bond to tell him that.

“...If you get stuck I'm sending Sabine in after you.” She threatened. “With a prod.”

Kanan chuckled at that and nodded, slowly starting to move into the vent, touching it carefully to make sure he could get through. He kept down on his belly, using his arms and legs to push and pull himself forward, hands gingerly testing to make sure he wouldn't fall into any open spaces or his clothes get stuck on outcroppings.

It got pretty tight after a few minutes then it eased up and Kanan let out a relieved breath. Soon he could hear a soft snuffling noise and he started moving a bit quicker, already guessing the source of the noise.

'Ezra...' 

He slid into a roomier vent space with enough space for him to actually kneel upright and reached out, hand connecting to a soft hair and a cold cheek. “Oh no Ezra...” He brushed the still moist cheek with his fingertips before shifting closer and sitting down fully, drawing the teenager into his lap as slowly as he could so not to wake him.

“You're going to catch a cold like this...again.” He wrapped his arms around the to cold body. 'He must have been here the entire time.' The Jedi thought as he reached up, carefully wiping away the tears that coated the others flushed cheeks, feeling dried tracks. 

Then he carefully tucked Ezra tightly against him, willing him to heat up. 'At least I'm drugged up quite a bit to avoid the pain. And the bacta is doing good to the slash...' He thought absently, rubbing Ezra's back. “Damn it, you're stone cold.” Kanan muttered and dragged him closer, tucking him firmly against his chest.

“Uh?” Ezra shifted at the move and woke slowly and Kanan almost held his breath, feeling Ezra stiffen as he realized who he was with. “...Hey Ezra.” He murmured softly for his benefit.

“...Kanan...” Ezra choked out.

“Hey...you gave everyone a scare.” The Jedi murmured, keeping his grip tight so Ezra couldn't make a mad dash, not that he was sure even the teen could do that in the vent. 

“How...”

“Crawled through the vent. I had to go after my padawan after all, since you shut down the bond.” Kanan tucked Ezra close. “No one seen you for eight hours.”

“...Oh...” Ezra swallowed. 

“Its alright Ezra...”

That bought a burst of rage and despair from the debt of Ezra's stomach. “How can it! Ahsoka is dead and you...I...oh First light.” The tears he thought had dried up started pouring down Ezra's face again. “You...I...”

“We're still alive Ezra.” He squeezed the teen to him. “I'm not dead, you're not dead and its not certain Ahsoka is dead. She's always been clever and strong. She may be hiding again.” Kanan shook Ezra a bit.

“...But your eyes...” Ezra hiccuped.

“Won't ever see again.” Kanan finished for him and rubbed his wards back at the flinch his blunt words had provoked. “But that doesn't mean I won't be able to do things Ezra. I just need to relearn to do things without eyes.” 

“But...”

“I found you, didn't I?” He challenged Ezra's dubious voice.

“I...I guess...” Ezra shifted on his lap, cold hands on his lap.

“Good, now, could you please lower the shields on your end? Ezra please. The silence is...disturbing.” Kanan murmured quietly. It was disturbing because it wasn't a Force suppressor or being passed out that shut the bond down, but Ezra himself.

Ezra blocking him out.

Ezra denying him.

Ezra coping on his own and leaving a hollowness inside of Kanan's mind that usually burned so bright it could distract him even from the most important of tasks. 

The teenager hesitated then slowly let down, letting Kanan in.

The jedi took a sharp breath at the feeling and tightened his grip on the other at the absolute despair clinging to Ezra's very bones in the bond. “Oh Ezra, its alright, I'm here.” He rocked the other, his hands clenching into the fabric of Ezra's flightsuit. “I'm RIGHT here Ezra.”

And through the bond, he heard the Sith Holocron call out for Ezra.

“I'm right here.” He whispered.


End file.
